Week in and week out frustrated and confused tennis parents come to me for help. If the job description of an elite tennis parent were posted, surely not many applicants would apply.
With “tongue firmly in cheek” I created a Job Posting for an Elite Tennis Parent. The point of detailing this incredibly difficult and sometimes thankless job is to acknowledge the love and dedication that go into developing and nurturing your child’s life skills.
Thank you parents, mentors and guardians for the support and love you give your tennis players. Thanksgiving is a time to be thankful and both tennis player and tennis parent should thank each other for the dedication and character building skills the game of tennis instills.
- Positive team player needed for 168 hour per week position.
- Candidate must possess a universal desire to be screamed at, talked down to and be willing to be hated 5-6 days a week.
- Successful applicant must have an uncanny sense of Buddha like calmness in an often psychotic, stressful, chaotic environment.
- Candidate must be willing to work early mornings, late evenings and most weekends.
- Candidate must be willing to forget about their own personal interests, workout routines, sports and hobbies.
- Candidate must not expect to go on vacation due to the year round tournament obligations.
- Successful applicant should plan on missing traditional family holidays due to Thanksgiving Nationals, Winter Super Nationals, Spring Break/Easter Bowl, Labor Day and Memorial Day Events.
- H R Skills-Interviewing, hiring and firing tennis coaches, trainers, hitters and off court specialists…with the enthusiasm of Donald trump.
- Accounting /banking skills: Possess an extremely thick check book and be willing and able to max out all of their major credit cards.
- Designated driver: Must be willing to put 100 thousand miles on the family car and enjoy most of your meals behind the wheel.
- Expect your child to occasionally go “Tennis-Brain dead”: Be willing and able to except that your child will occasionally forget everything they were taught during the last $5000.00 worth of lessons and blow several events a year.
- Scheduling Manager: World class juggling skills required to organize the ever changing schedules of booking practice courts, times & logistics, hired hitters practice partners, lessons and events.
- Booking Agent: Flexible skills required to book last minute airlines, cars and hotels.
- VIP/24 hour Courier Service : laundry service, racquet re-stringing service, drug store pharmaceuticals pickup and delivery service, bed time psychology sessions.
- Fashion Coordinator/Personal shopper: Purchasing only the latest Nike shoes and matching clothes
- Maintenance Knowledge : General maintenance of equipment such as racket re-gripping and clothing malfunctions such as last minute zipper repairs.
- Parental Intuition: Must have the uncanny ability to become expendable and invisible in a seconds notice and/or appear bright eyed or happy to help 2 minutes later.
- Match Performance Review: Must be willing to evaluate a crummy performance by first pointing out fifty positive observations but NEVER share negative feedback without starting WWIII.
- Match Day Parental Duties (Addressed in Match Day Preparation eBook).
- Separate list TBD later.
- There is no pay for this position.
- All the work and travel related expenses will not be reimbursed.
- Required reading: The Tennis Parent’s Bible (www.tennisparentsolutions.com)